Blow Me A Kiss (Kerry/Edwards Version)

This and my other parodies can be found here:
http://www.amiright.com/parody/authors/michaelmcvey.shtml

Blow Me A Kiss (Kerry/Edwards version)
©2004 Michael W. McVey
 
Ah, how ya doin', Mr. Kerry?
Hi Mr. Edwards!
(both)What's up, Senator?
 
Well it looks like our wives have dumped us...
Yeah, the ladies left us all alone...
Anything you'd like to say, Mr. Kerry?
There sure is, Mr. Edwards!
 
Johnny, blow me
A kiss as you're leaving,
Johnny,Blow me
Oh, a kiss right now,
Cause if they're going to leave us,
Johnny, I will surely wish
That you would blow me (blow me) a kiss.
 
Come on and blow me, whoa,
A kiss like you mean it!
Blow me, oh, a kiss goodbye.
I really can't remember anything as hard as this,
So blow me (blow me) a kiss.
Wow-w-w-w!
 
So did you find me hard to swallow?
(Not at all!)
Didn't think you could handle everything!
(Sure, I could, Mr. Kerry).
But if you come back tomorrow,
I'll be shooting my wad
Of flowers at your feet.
 
Johnny, blow me, whoa,
A kiss while you're leaving, honey,
Blow me, whoa,
A kiss as you go.
I always thought about you as I was going down
My list, darling, blow me (blow me) a kiss.
(You mean your VP list?)
(Yeah, my list of potential partners, ha, ha!)
 
I'll touch your arms and your elbows,
(ha, ha, they're nice).
I'll rub your legs so tall,
(You've got some long legs too, Mr. Kerry).
I'll pat your neck and your shoulders (ha, ha, ha).
But I want your head,
Most of all! (ha, ha)!
 
Johnny, blow me,
Oh, a kiss as you're leaving,
Johnny, blow me,
Whoa, a kiss as you go....
 
And if you wanna come home,
Senator, that's OK,
Just grab a-hold of this!
 
And Johnny, blow me,
Johnny won't you blow me,
Blow me a kiss?
(Sllllurp!)

Blow Me A Kiss, by Bob and Tom

I couldn't find the lyrics anywhere on the Internet, so here they are:
 
"Blow Me A Kiss"
©1997 by Bob and Tom

Ah, how ya doin' Jerry?
Hi Dean-O!
What's up, Pally?

Well it looks like our girls have dumped us...
Yeah, the girls left us all alone...
Anything you'd like to say to them, pally?
There sure is, Dean-O!

Baby, blow me
A kiss as you're leaving, honey,
Blow me
Oh, A kiss right now'
Cause if you're going to leave me,
Honey, I will surely miss
The way you blow me (blow me) a kiss.

Come on and blow me, whoa,
A kiss like you mean it!
Blow me, oh, a kiss goodbye.
I really can't remember anything as hard as this,
So blow me (blow me) a kiss.
Wow-w-w-w!

I guess she found me hard to swallow,
(Oh, I guess so).
O-ho, she couldn't handle everything,
(ha, ha, she couldn't take it all, Dean).
But if she comes back tomorrow,
I'll be shooting my wad
Of flowers in the ring.

Darling, blow me, whoa,
A kiss while you're leaving, baby,
Blow me,whoa, A kiss as you go.
And always think about me as you're going down
Your list, darling, blow me (blow me) a kiss.

I'll miss her arms and her elbows,
(ha, ha, they're nice).
I'll miss her legs so tall,
(She's got some long legs, Dean).
I'll miss her neck and her shoulders(ha, ha, ha).
But I'll miss her head,
Most of all!(ha, ha)!

Honey, blow me,
Oh, a kiss as you're leaving,
Baby, blow me,
Whoa, a kiss as you go....
 
And if you wanna come home,
Honey, that's OK,
Just grab a-hold of this!
And baby, blow me,
Baby won't you blow me,
Blow me a kiss?
(Sllllurp!)

Why George Bush Should Choose Osama bin Laden as HIS Running Mate

OK, now equal time for the Republicans.

George W. Bush should replace Dick Cheney on the GOP ticket with Osama bin Laden. Here is why:

10: bin Laden was born in another country, but that's OK, Bush was born on another planet!
9: Bush needs bin Laden's money. All the multi-billionaires in the U.S. are pulling for Kerry.
8: bin Laden is even better at hiding than Cheney is. Only Bush knows the whereabouts of either one of them.
7: Like Bush, bin Laden does not believe in the separation of religion and government.
6: The Taliban is very good at punishing people with differing opinions.
5: Bush and bin Laden both deny their connections with Saddam Hussein.
4: With Kerry getting all the votes of singles, Catholics, women, and men under 30, Bush needs all the Muslim votes he can get.
3: bin Laden does not have any history of heart trouble, becuase he doesn't have a heart.
2: To get THIS economy out of recession, Bush not only needs God's help, he needs Allah's too.

And the NUMBER ONE REASON???

1: bin Laden saved Bush's ass in 2001, and Bush owes him a favor in return!!!

Top 10 Reasons John Kerry Should Choose Scott Peterson For VP Running Mate

Here are the top 10 reasons Scott Peterson would be the perfect VP running mate for Democratic Presidential Candidate John Kerry:

10: Scott Peterson couldn't be much worse.
9: The fact that he's about to become a convicted felon has never stopped the Democrats before.
8: He lives in California, and the Democrats need its 55 electoral votes to win.
7: Like Howard Dean, he killed unborn babies before beginning his political career.
6: He's younger than Dick Gephardt or Joe Lieberman.
5: No one will say Scott Peterson should be at the top of the ticket.
4: He's one of only two men who can abuse the women in his life and still have the support of the N.O.W. Klux Klan. Bill Clinton is the other.
3: Gephardt voted to ban partial-birth abortion, and Edwards missed the vote altogether. Peterson actually COMMITTED a late-term abortion.
2: It does not matter to a feminist that Laci did not consent to the abovementioned late-term abortion. If she shows signs of being pro-life, just make another Terri Schiavo out of her.
1: Because Hillary Clinton has chosen Scott Peterson, and no Democrat in his right mind would contramand her orders!

July 4, 2004

On July 4, 1776, a new nation was born on this earth, conceived in liberty and dedicated to the proposition that all people are created equal.

On July 4, 2004, a new blogspot site was born and is dedicated to the proposition that the abovementioned nation has failed to treat all people equal.

For America to be a land of liberty and justice for all, its government must renounce all favoritism and special preferences, and moreover must renounce its longstanding desire to control the private lives of its citizens through laws and policies, and the enforcement thereof, which infringe upon the constitutional separation of powers. Whether it be favoring the female over the male, the rich over the poor, or the born over the unborn, any attempt to protect one class at the expense of another is an abrogation of the principles upon which this country was founded 228 years ago.

Michael McVey